Valentine’s Day for ‘Smug Marrieds’

Valentine’s Day for ‘Smug Marrieds’

 I watched Bridget Jones’ Diary again the other night.  There are, to be honest, some films I could watch over and over again.  These include the Bridget Jones films and anything directed by Richard Curtis.  (OK, and anything with Hugh Grant in it.  Oh, and Patrick Swayze.  And Colin Firth..)

Anyway, I am a lover of light-weight romantic films and proud to admit it.

 I do love the scene where Bridget is invited to a supper party with the ‘smug- marrieds’, quizzing her about why she is still single in her thirties.   With Valentine’s Day upon us today, I got to thinking how this celebration has now widened its net to include smug-marrieds everywhere.  Not as it used to be years ago, when I was a schoolgirl, and it was just unrequited single people sending an anonymous card to their secret passion and hoping they guessed who it was from.  (Or, you were the only person in your fourth year class not to get a Valentine’s Card and had to send one to yourself… were you that person too? I know, Character building!) 

Even longer ago, in the 19th century, according to an article in the Mail on Sunday by Chris Hastings, last weekend, ‘Vicious Valentines’ were sent by embittered ex lovers, with the aim of upsetting the recipient or, even nastier, making snide innuendos to stir up trouble between a couple who were still together.

 The current 21st century, blanket coverage of Valentine’s cards is good news, surely. Yes, you could call it commercialisation, a bit like Christmas now starting in September. But I think that anything that encourages us to revive the romance in our long-term relationships has to be a good thing, right?  Complacency is the silent marriage destroyer.   Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to forget the petty irritations; how your husband disappears to the pub after work three nights a week and never puts his dirty socks in the washing basket, how your wife runs up huge phone bills talking inanities to her relations and takes two hours to get ready to go out anywhere.  It is the excuse to remember why you wanted to be together in the first place.

 Our current Prime Minister David Cameron has announced to the Press that he has a weekly ‘date night’ with his wife Samantha.  I like this idea very much. In fact, I wonder if the divorce rate would be lower if Valentine’s Day for the smug-marrieds was once a week, not once a year.  Red roses, soppy cards, candles on the table and an aphrodisiac meal for two.  Maybe that’s just what we smug-marrieds need, at least once a week, to arrest the deadly decline into complacency, into taking love for granted.

 Let me know what you think,

How do you keep or revive the romance in your relationship?

 I’d love to hear from you!




About Rosalie Ash

Rosalie Ash is a member of the Society of Authors and the Romantic Novelists Association. Between 1989 and 1999 she wrote 21 successful contemporary romance novels, published by Harlequin Mills & Boon. She then decided to drag herself out of her romantic bubble into the world of work. Now, over a decade on, she has started writing romantic fiction again, as well her latest passion, children's picture books for age 3-5, and she is now a member of SCBWI-UK (Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators, UK).
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